A Message from Mr Nice Die (He really exists)

Hi there. I have a few things to say to you semi-people. True things, I speak and only a couple of lies.

 

The world is reeling in shock today as it seems being a decent and accommodating man is not enough. It has been proven through strict testing in 1 out of 1 cases, that good men finish last.

Do not be afraid, disillusioned or content, because karma will not, I repeat, not come and get them for their transgressions.

It is officially accepted that to succeed in life, one needs thievery, sleight of hand, mind and sheer brute gall. A pair of testicles (or even one) has been known to assist in life advancement, but there is no good reason why you cannot sleep your way at least to the middle tier if a vagina is all you were born with.

Calling women bitches is now acceptable television fare and if one feels the urge to use it in conversation, one no longer needs wit to get away with it. Bitch, can even be seen as a positive, post-feminist affirmation. WE told you that the future looks pro-male. We didn’t lie.

Know full well that it is of no merit to do good things expecting reward. Just do your Mother Theresa stuff over there and leave the smokers and drinkers in peace.

You’ll probably die before the person you’re helping, anyway. If you have enemies, choose wisely who to hate. A good nemesis is almost as good as a great friend, except that enemies tend to tell you the truth far more often.

Remember kidses, good guys win, but bad boys get the best seats to watch you hustle and bustle trying to save the world. Oh, they also get the supermodels.

Try to find an imbalance in blessings, curses and cheap honesty.  Can’t have too much of a good or a bad thing. They’ll both kill you. If you thought you hated your self, wait until you spurn a lover. Loathing tastes so good fermented in love, don’tcha think? Come on, don’tcha think? Ah, it’s alright. Thinking’s overrated anyway.  It’s why we made computers in the first place. Have a nice day, fuck off and good luck.