August 3, 2007

Goddamn.

This is not a story about how crazy it is. The really good part about this stuff is it actually happened. I worry for the impending future. If I am a part of man as a species and I am this fucked up, I wonder how fucked reality really is.

So.. with those protocols observed, I'd like to tell you fucks about my day.

First things first, I take a walk from my home with my raw supplies. "Glaucoma Medicine", Pen, Paper, Metal and other essentials in my bag. I then choose to trek to MQ's place about 15 to 20 miles from my place. On the way I meet the girls that will soon play a pivotal part in this true and wonderful story. I say hi to one. She then recognizes me, having not seen me in a few months, through my vociferous hair and pats her friend (who wasn't paying attention and lets her know that this is Khaya, standing behind her. What they fail to realize is the perverted and quite entertaining ideas littering my bored mind at the sight of them. We choose to walk together, I walking on my way mentioned earlier, they on their way home. We talk, I am bored and am blaspheming like a motherfucker. "I need Metal," the mind of Khaya says to it's owner. It's owner obliges this mind in the little way he can. He begins to sing Necrophagist's "Stabwound" quite passionately. The girls cower in fear, lacking understanding of Death Metal.

They reach home. Would they like to come to the Creative Gutter, I ask them. They affirm. Later, I will fetch them and come to the gutter. Let me make my walking this day clear to the reader.

? Trip 1 – Home to Creative Gutter (MQ's place) 15 or so miles

? Trip 2 - Gutter to Girl's places, 10 miles

? Trip 3 - Girl's place to Gutter – 10 miles

? Trip 4 - Gutter to Place of Event 13-ish

? Trip 5 - Place of Event that caused this shit to be written in the first place to Home +/-5 miles

I reach the Gutter ( before Route 2) and MQ is sleeping, gone, unconscious. Bored still, I play some Enfo's Team Survival (Warcraft 3 TFT) and simultaneously roll myself a well deserved sharp (cause I don't like blunts much) and prepare to smoke it. MQ wakes, tells me to smoke outside, of which I comply.

Now on quite a high, the world is very musical, creative and funny. Things once void of any funniness, have, through some magic or osmosis of sorts, gained funniness unparalleled.. I am laughing quite violently and regularly now, thinking if i should go see these girls or not. I choose the former. At this moment of my highness MQ is "taking his medicine" i.e. Playing Blizzards Official TD (another Warcraft 3 TFT Map). I walk Trip 2 quite high indeed. I must agree with myself on this one, I was high, which I am not now [insert sad face here]. I create some, at the time quite interesting tunes, write some good verse and keep walking my miles.

The girls are having wonderful political discussions when I finally walk into their apartment. "I really appreciate their afternoon discourse," I remember thinking. We talk, eat some chocolate and biscuits. I enjoy these quite thoroughly. We then take Trip 3 where I get a picture of said girls standing before MQ's poetry, smiling, as people do, for the camera.

Trip 4, still high and walking to what these girls keep referring to as "Church" I am exciting myself with creative ejaculate from my palate. Talking both shit and relevance to the 2 girls, who have not really been saying anything worth immortalizing yet. But they're hot, who cares what they say, I think to meself. I am walking with them because I am of the idea that we are headed to a weekly poetry reading. I assume they call it church because it is a humorous analogy comparing poetry and poetic performance, to church sermons and worship. I laugh at this comparison. Coincidentally, this poetry night takes place at the Abbreviated DCC or Durban Cristian Center. I am willing to walk into Jesusland for an hour or so of poetry.

We're almost at the place of the event. I have an urge, unyielding to the wiles and manipulations of tact and respect. I want to walk into the church and say, "Fuck Jesus." I want to. I have to. This stuff will make my day, I say to self. The girls are like, "No! You cant say that!!!" I rejoinder "Why not?" They fail to satisfy my both relevant and childish question. Therefore, I stick to my metaphorical guns and await the churchwalkingin time. I walk in. To church. and I can feel the urge bubbling inside like flatulence. I start singing under my breath "fuck jesus, fuck jesus...fuuuuuuck" etc etc ad almost infinitum. We walk into this room. In this fixer-upper of a room I see the universal shape of gathering, the circle, at the center of it. This circle of gathering is formed by the poets of earlier mention. We enter and sit. People are introducing each other and stating things that people may not know about them. I was told that the poetry today was about self. "Self-descriptive" poetry, they told, me, these misleading girls. So my turn comes and this is the moment of reckoning. This is the Event.

"Hi I'm Khaya and I'm an Atheist. Fuck Jesus!!!!" You should have seen my face, I wish I did. I was so excited at having done it, out loud. Flatulence released, you know what I mean... The room goes dead silent, all have turned to look at me. If I took a picture of them,put speech bubbles on their heads that said WTF, I'd have summed up the situation pretty aptly. They were really all wondering if they were dreaming a very bad dream, or was their god testing them or something. I told them I was testing out the whole getting struck down thing. Told them it wa'n't gonna happen. Is their god going to stop me, no. Funniest shit ever. Part of me was sad that there was no proper poetry going on, I mean, I had been misinformed. I thought that this was just poetry. But no, they brought me to Jesus camp. High and looking for blasphemous excitement at that. How more fucked up can a day get? I had to tell Brynn my (mis)adventure. I got him to call me quite soon after that. Fuck, we laughed. For all intents and purposes , I should pay for all the transgressions I have inflicted on believers worldwide but fuck that. If fathers can rape their own daughters and get away with it. If George Dubya can kill thousands with one command. If Hitler can kill millions of Jews. If the world Bank can keep people in digital (not even real money) debt for decades just to keep the 3^rd world down and devalue currencies. If these fuckers can say fuck you to the rules of simple human law. If they can disobey the universal law of "Thou shalt not violate" then for fucks sake, so will I. I will disobey for my fun, at anyone's expense, until this non-existent god comes and stops me.